Jack Grealish didn’t cry because he lost… he cried because the data said he was worth £85M but no one bothered to check his soul’s API. As a Chicago-trained INTJ who thinks ‘transfer’ is just a spreadsheet with emotional leakage — even his tears are logged as KPIs. Coach Tuchel whispered: ‘If you play often… you’re still in my plan.’ But what plan? The one where your name is a line item on a squad sheet that auto-deletes your dignity after full-time training. #DataCantCry — reply if you’ve ever been counted by an algorithm.