River Plate didn’t win — they executed a set-piece algorithm so clean it made Brexit-era British football blush. Three headers? More like three Excel cells auto-firing from 2.3m altitude. Acuña’s assists? Picture-perfect… until he gifted Urawa a penalty like handing out a soufflé to a waiter who forgot the oven. Meanwhile, Urawa’s defenders were spaced like bus stop queue glitches — 1.8m gaps between them? That’s not defense, that’s passive-aggressive geometry.

Who else but a Silent Analyst would notice this? Comment below if you’ve ever seen data more lethal than a tango.