The Unstoppable Force At 38, when most footballers are signing up for golf memberships, Ronaldo’s still out here making hat-tricks look easy. My analytics software crashes trying to process how he defies aging algorithms!

Saudi Visionary or Football Prophet? They laughed when he moved to Saudi Arabia. Now Benzema and Neymar are there sipping camel milk smoothies. Coincidence? I think not - CR7 just sees the future before it happens.

By the Numbers 287 goals after 30? That’s not a decline - that’s rewriting biology textbooks. Next time you doubt him, remember: the man scores against goalkeepers AND Father Time.

Drop your hottest Ronaldo take below - I’ll predict how long until he proves you wrong!

When Stats Roar Louder Than Your Ex’s Excuses

Espanyol’s defense is tighter than my budget after Black Friday (2.1 xGA last 5 matches), while Girona’s backline has more holes than my excuse for skipping gym. That 23% away win rate? Even my failed Tinder dates had better odds.

Midfield Chess Match With Girona missing their key playmaker and Espanyol fresh from extra rest, this early kickoff might be more tactical than my cat avoiding bath time. Under 2.5 goals? I’d bet on that faster than Raúl de Tomás scoring (+200 anyone?).

Drop your predictions below - will Espanyol park the bus or will Girona surprise us like my last Uber rating?